Is that all one word? I don't even know.
Regardless, people have come into town, we have rehearsed and eaten a delicious dinner, and the pampering was delicious. Next is the Bachelorette part tonight.
Can't I stop time so it can all sink in?
No?
I will just have to use this blog to remember thoughts and feelings (especially because I still can't find my journal...). For the most part, I am pretty relaxed and trying to enjoy my time as it comes.
Then it will hit me.
My stomach seizes, my feet start to go numb, it feels like my heart is trying to pump the blood for a 6'11" German man. And it all seems to be happening too quickly.
How can I hold onto this?
Then there's the overwhelmed feeling with how much everyone is doing and giving towards this occasion. Such generosity, no way to express just how much that means. All I keep thinking is, "for me? You REALLY don't have to."
All in all, it's just crazy. How anyone is supposed to absorb this time is beyond me. It's coming. In days.
Which is insane.
Yet then I calm down about it and become this pendulum swinging from Panic to Peace.
But Kenny and I are happy. He kept looking at me at the rehearsal dinner and whispering, "I am so happy."
:)
Love him.
August 20, 2010
August 17, 2010
Onward!
Alright, after a slightly negative post last time, I thought I would brighten things up with my current perspective. On this sunshiney day, I can't help but have optimism for how things are going. It definitely feels like loose ends are getting tied up versus being decided and the Master To-Do List is actually less than two pages now (I just rewrote it)! Delegated people are in full swing, people are coming into town, and we have no choice but to reach The Big Day with what's done is done.
But the best part is...now comes the fun part. In the next day or so, we will rehearse, eat good food, get pampered (Kenny is actually getting a haircut by a professional), pack for Hawaii, and enjoy our family and friends. That sounds pretty good to me.
Thanks to all who have read my lowly thoughts on this process and have been praying every step of the way. If I really think about it, I will only have time for maybe one or two more posts before things accelerate beyond comprehension. We'll see if I'm even able to share new thoughts besides the usual "this is crazy," which would be boring.
This blogger is ready for the beach. <3
But the best part is...now comes the fun part. In the next day or so, we will rehearse, eat good food, get pampered (Kenny is actually getting a haircut by a professional), pack for Hawaii, and enjoy our family and friends. That sounds pretty good to me.
Thanks to all who have read my lowly thoughts on this process and have been praying every step of the way. If I really think about it, I will only have time for maybe one or two more posts before things accelerate beyond comprehension. We'll see if I'm even able to share new thoughts besides the usual "this is crazy," which would be boring.
This blogger is ready for the beach. <3
August 14, 2010
SERIOUSLY.
In case anyone wasn't aware, the wedding is a week from tomorrow.
I have been staving off a breakdown for several days now, but due to certain events that shall remain nameless, it is very near the surface.
My goal for the week before the wedding was to be fairly relaxed. Naive as it may seem, I thought I would put in all the hard work leading up to that point, then coast into the weekend.
HA.
Other people had different ideas.
Apparently, that was not to be.
Fair? Maybe not. Reality? Pretty much.
So here we go. We'll see just how this week unfolds.
I can't help but think about how "this is the last week before your wedding. You won't get that back." You know, the countown REALLY begins. Now we're into "lasts".
My prayer is just to enjoy it, ya know? This has been quite the process and I refuse to let this precious time be stollen from it. It's been sometimes fun, sometimes frustrating, always emotional, but with this week in mind. It cannot fly past me with a wave and a "hey there" while I trudge through last minute details.
No no.
Over my wedding gown. (Uh-oh...she means business)
So, friends, help me. Most of you are, but just know where I stand. I do not want to be stressed. I do not want to forget everything about this next week in a blur of details and angst.
I want to enjoy. I want to savor. I want to marinate in this time.
Okay, somebody slap her. She's gone too far.
I have been staving off a breakdown for several days now, but due to certain events that shall remain nameless, it is very near the surface.
My goal for the week before the wedding was to be fairly relaxed. Naive as it may seem, I thought I would put in all the hard work leading up to that point, then coast into the weekend.
HA.
Other people had different ideas.
Apparently, that was not to be.
Fair? Maybe not. Reality? Pretty much.
So here we go. We'll see just how this week unfolds.
I can't help but think about how "this is the last week before your wedding. You won't get that back." You know, the countown REALLY begins. Now we're into "lasts".
My prayer is just to enjoy it, ya know? This has been quite the process and I refuse to let this precious time be stollen from it. It's been sometimes fun, sometimes frustrating, always emotional, but with this week in mind. It cannot fly past me with a wave and a "hey there" while I trudge through last minute details.
No no.
Over my wedding gown. (Uh-oh...she means business)
So, friends, help me. Most of you are, but just know where I stand. I do not want to be stressed. I do not want to forget everything about this next week in a blur of details and angst.
I want to enjoy. I want to savor. I want to marinate in this time.
Okay, somebody slap her. She's gone too far.
August 9, 2010
Challenge #145- Moving
You'd think we would be professionals at this by now.
At this point in life, we have moved a combined total of 15 times. Okay, that's an estimation, but plenty of times nonetheless. And here we are again- moving. This, however, is the "big move." Kenny is slowly and surely moving his stuff in. This, of course, means being combined with my stuff.
Boy stuff. With my stuff.
Sorry, but this isn't totally okay with me.
Right about now, we have one room devoted to just...stuff. And now we decide where everything goes. Together.
Having it in said room is better than where it all was before- the doorway. Natalie nearly had a mini-meltdown when there was no longer any way to get in or out of the front door.
Uncool.
I had been so good all day, right up until we were leaving and there was still a dresser poised on our front porch, waiting to come in. Once inside, just right there, I believe my exact words were, "I just...can't."
An hour later Kenny was asking me, "Are you still thinking about the dresser?" to which I replied a meak, "yes."
So we've come a long way, having it all in one room.
It's at this point that I really wish I was in "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" and could have things fly to where they should go in the time it would take to sing about it.
All of this to say that things must be moved in relatively soon, as people start to arrive in town and then the wedding happens. That is in less than two weeks, my friends. I'm trying to take the time to process this once-in-a-lifetime time, but it's challenging considering everything there still is to DO that I don't really want to do. I'm pretty much ready to be done.
Just a little bit more. I've come this far (as if I'm needing positive self talk for crossing the Sahara or something).
At this point in life, we have moved a combined total of 15 times. Okay, that's an estimation, but plenty of times nonetheless. And here we are again- moving. This, however, is the "big move." Kenny is slowly and surely moving his stuff in. This, of course, means being combined with my stuff.
Boy stuff. With my stuff.
Sorry, but this isn't totally okay with me.
Right about now, we have one room devoted to just...stuff. And now we decide where everything goes. Together.
Having it in said room is better than where it all was before- the doorway. Natalie nearly had a mini-meltdown when there was no longer any way to get in or out of the front door.
Uncool.
I had been so good all day, right up until we were leaving and there was still a dresser poised on our front porch, waiting to come in. Once inside, just right there, I believe my exact words were, "I just...can't."
An hour later Kenny was asking me, "Are you still thinking about the dresser?" to which I replied a meak, "yes."
So we've come a long way, having it all in one room.
It's at this point that I really wish I was in "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" and could have things fly to where they should go in the time it would take to sing about it.
All of this to say that things must be moved in relatively soon, as people start to arrive in town and then the wedding happens. That is in less than two weeks, my friends. I'm trying to take the time to process this once-in-a-lifetime time, but it's challenging considering everything there still is to DO that I don't really want to do. I'm pretty much ready to be done.
Just a little bit more. I've come this far (as if I'm needing positive self talk for crossing the Sahara or something).
August 7, 2010
Remembered
I just got home from a most beautiful and heartfelt memorial.
It was lovely, honest, full of love, and touching.
But that was Lylah.
Now, she was not my grandma, but she was Grandma Peavy all the same and shared a special bond with two of my wonderful cousins. Therefore, we were there.
Watching the montage of her life, especially her time with her husband, Jack, was very emotional and as if from a movie. She was the kind of woman you wouldn't think exists anymore. As the story goes, she grew up in small town Montana and moved to Seattle to work at Boeing during the war. After meeting Jack and dating for three months, they knew it was meant to be and got married. Family vacations to Montana were annual, clothes were made and made well, and dessert was never lacking at Grandma's house. If you were family once, you were family always. The affect she had on others was so powerful, I am sure the service could have continued for another hour just sharing memories alone. Words cannot capture Lylah and why I am writing about her here, but I just wanted to share how marvelous someone can still be.
As I drive up and down Aurora, come in contact with a hundred people a day at my job, and attempt to navigate my way in this crazy (and getting crazier) world, I want to remember people like Lylah. People who, no matter what, loved first. People who were intentional with their family and knew the whereabouts of every cousin, niece, and grandchild. People whose joy and love for Christ defined their very selves. People who, as they pass on, there's absolutely no doubt as to where they are now, enjoying God's Kingdom and happier than ever.
What a pleasure it was to bear witness to such an extraordinary life. No discoveries were made, no inventions were born, and the only plaque with her name on it will mark where she lie next to her beloved husband, but her life was remarkable. I was honored to be there and know her.
And I hope to remember her as an example of what is truly important- loving others, whether it is your husband, family, or someone you hardly know.
Sorry for the off-topic post, but as I enter into this marriage I have been reflecting on who I want to be in it. No longer it is just me and my life that I am worrying about, but now I will be a wife to someone and then hopefully a mother and grandmother. And along the way, I want to be someone like Lylah.
Thank you, everyone out there, for also acting as examples to me of how I want to be. However, I know it will only be by the grace of God. And I'm sure others would agree. :)
It was lovely, honest, full of love, and touching.
But that was Lylah.
Now, she was not my grandma, but she was Grandma Peavy all the same and shared a special bond with two of my wonderful cousins. Therefore, we were there.
Watching the montage of her life, especially her time with her husband, Jack, was very emotional and as if from a movie. She was the kind of woman you wouldn't think exists anymore. As the story goes, she grew up in small town Montana and moved to Seattle to work at Boeing during the war. After meeting Jack and dating for three months, they knew it was meant to be and got married. Family vacations to Montana were annual, clothes were made and made well, and dessert was never lacking at Grandma's house. If you were family once, you were family always. The affect she had on others was so powerful, I am sure the service could have continued for another hour just sharing memories alone. Words cannot capture Lylah and why I am writing about her here, but I just wanted to share how marvelous someone can still be.
As I drive up and down Aurora, come in contact with a hundred people a day at my job, and attempt to navigate my way in this crazy (and getting crazier) world, I want to remember people like Lylah. People who, no matter what, loved first. People who were intentional with their family and knew the whereabouts of every cousin, niece, and grandchild. People whose joy and love for Christ defined their very selves. People who, as they pass on, there's absolutely no doubt as to where they are now, enjoying God's Kingdom and happier than ever.
What a pleasure it was to bear witness to such an extraordinary life. No discoveries were made, no inventions were born, and the only plaque with her name on it will mark where she lie next to her beloved husband, but her life was remarkable. I was honored to be there and know her.
And I hope to remember her as an example of what is truly important- loving others, whether it is your husband, family, or someone you hardly know.
Sorry for the off-topic post, but as I enter into this marriage I have been reflecting on who I want to be in it. No longer it is just me and my life that I am worrying about, but now I will be a wife to someone and then hopefully a mother and grandmother. And along the way, I want to be someone like Lylah.
Thank you, everyone out there, for also acting as examples to me of how I want to be. However, I know it will only be by the grace of God. And I'm sure others would agree. :)
August 1, 2010
Myths, Myths, EVERYWHERE
Wedding Myth #2 Exposed: There are no "original" wedding ideas.
Sorry friends. I hate to break it to you. But prepare yourselves for some cold, hard truth.
You may think that you did it. The perfect way to display napkins...the most unique wedding favor...even an original fruit juice blended just for your wedding. No wedding blog/bride in history has ever thought of this.
Oh, but they have.
I have come to realize after months of planning that no matter how rare my beautiful concept may be, someone else has done it. Someone, somewhere. If you think about it, how many weddings have been held over the years, thrown by trendy couples who have way better vision than you or I, coming up with ideas that make ours look like ugly stepchildren?
A lot.
So when we bolt upright in bed, awaking from a dream where the most brilliant way to decorate the tables came to you as if a gift from the Wedding Fairy, don't get too excited. It has and/or will be done in the near future and you will innocently walk into a wedding where, lo and behold, you stare aghast at their centerpieces and think, "HOW?"
Take heart, dear bride- you are not alone. We have all be thwarted once or twice.
Yet another opportunity to look over at that future husband and remember what it's all for.
The gifts.
(hahaha)
Sorry friends. I hate to break it to you. But prepare yourselves for some cold, hard truth.
You may think that you did it. The perfect way to display napkins...the most unique wedding favor...even an original fruit juice blended just for your wedding. No wedding blog/bride in history has ever thought of this.
Oh, but they have.
I have come to realize after months of planning that no matter how rare my beautiful concept may be, someone else has done it. Someone, somewhere. If you think about it, how many weddings have been held over the years, thrown by trendy couples who have way better vision than you or I, coming up with ideas that make ours look like ugly stepchildren?
A lot.
So when we bolt upright in bed, awaking from a dream where the most brilliant way to decorate the tables came to you as if a gift from the Wedding Fairy, don't get too excited. It has and/or will be done in the near future and you will innocently walk into a wedding where, lo and behold, you stare aghast at their centerpieces and think, "HOW?"
Take heart, dear bride- you are not alone. We have all be thwarted once or twice.
Yet another opportunity to look over at that future husband and remember what it's all for.
The gifts.
(hahaha)
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