Two decades later...

Once upon a time, I was very into gymnastics.  Cartwheeling, somersaulting, hand standing, back bending- the works. I was a tumbling machine.  I used to practice my handstands so much that I would leave hand prints in the carpet for a couple of days. The Little Gym was the best (though turned me off of the B-52s and "Love Shack" for life) and I even graduated to a pretty impressive gym for a time(when it's in a warehouse and they sell tons of pretty gymnastics wear, you know it's legit).

However, the tender age of twelve was not very good to me- I grew. Tall.  Keri Strug, I was not. At 5'8", I was suddenly terrified of hitting my feet while spinning around an uneven bar and couldn't bear looking down, down, down below while shivering on the balance beam.  Vault was still pretty fun and floor was no problem, but I was still all limbs.  Plus, I'm sure my ever-growing curtain of bangs compromised my visibility and I was a hazard to other aspiring gymnasts as I catapulted all over the place, but that's another story (thanks, Mom).  For whatever reason, I dropped it.
Fast forward twenty-five years, and I am attempting a different form of flexible prowess- yoga.
Man, I miss being twelve.  At least then I was able to touch my toes without labored breath and tears stinging my eyes.  Once I heard the opening notes of "Nothing My Love Can't Fix", I would launch into an endless routine packed with splits, back walkovers, and plenty of professionally choreographed dance moves. I was destined for stardom.

This is really all about a crisis of age. Since when was I 27-years-old, straining in my Warrior II and cursing my "bad knee" and "sore back" and breathing my heart out until she let's me go into Child's Pose?
All this to say, I remember the good ol' days: leotards & spandex, scrunchies & bangs, and Joey Lawrence singing his heart out while I elastically threw my body around like it was no thang.
Little did I know.

Well, at least in yoga we're more likely to listen to Yanni than the B-52s.  So there's that.
Namaste.

Eureka

That's it- I'm just gonna do it.
Run with it.
Whatever happens, I tried and hopefully, nobody got hurt.

Too many signs lately have pointed to "yes" (the answer to the question "is this a good idea?") that I can't ignore.  If I did, then my increasing employment unhappiness would be my own fault and it would be the umpteenth time God said, "See, this is where you just had to do something about it, see, after I gave you the go-ahead."

So here I go!

Backtracking

Oh, how quickly things can come-a-tumblin' down.
In the space of a week or so, I have managed to fall desperately into a funk.  My last post was so nice, so optimistic (who thought of that title?), and so grateful.
Of course I'm still holding on tight to the things I am thankful for- that list won't budge- but I am still having a hard time right now.

Without drudging through the inescapably morose details, let's say that it involves employment, mainly, and what the heck I'm doing with myself. I can't take it anymore, yet the good ideas I thought I was having have been bizarrely thwarted (beyond all comprehension).  You know the kind I'm talking about- the kind you think are brilliant and would make you happy, then you innocently stumble upon the thwart and your heart literally falls into your stomach with that Square One Feeling, the kind where you want to look up and ask the ceiling, "is this a joke?"

No, really.  Is it?

What's in store for the Soldanos?  God only knows.
Literally.

Future lookin' bright.

Top Ten Reasons to Salute 2010/Welcome 2011

10.) This time last year I was preparing to take Save-the-Date pics and living in a freezing apartment. I am

currently sitting in a cozy house, whisper-distance from my husband. Yay. :)

9.) As of November, I began a Book Club.  FIN.A.LLY. So far we have covered polygamy, the politics of food, and are soon to discuss our first president. Sitting around, chatting for hours comes naturally

to us all, but now it's about books. And brunch.

8.) I came to manage the Stone Way Diva Espresso, which has had its ups and downs, but mostly sounds a little bit better when I tell people what I do and makes me feel like I have some worth when I'm going in to make latte after freakin' latte. Which leads me into...

7.)...praying that I find something else that lends itself to my gifts and passions i.e. reading, helping people, laughing, listening and coffee.  Ideas are in the works (we've GOT THIS, Chacs).

6.) I got to hang out plenty with a wonderful niece, Emma,  and am going to be an aunt once again come this summer to a child whose name may or may not be Carson Parson. Another Larson running around this world- yikes.



Lamb. Of. God.



2010 lent itself to sweet pictures like this. Precious.

6.) I began to exercise regularly last year and hope to keep up that routine.  Well, "begin again" is more like it. The holidays were rough, you understand.  Okay- so I haven't done so hot since before the wedding. I've, as they say, "let my proverbial self go."  There, I said it.

5.) Nails will once again adorn my fingertips. I swear. Without a wedding looming, my inspiration must come solely from my heart within. My eternal struggle. 
4.) I have some pretty unbelievable friends and family whom I often can't believe God put in my little life. I thank Him every single day for these people and do my best to honor them.  Who knows how I do, you'd have to ask them, but I just hope they know I feel blessed to know them.  (Disclaimer to my fam- I'd put pics of you all on here, but that would be a lot. You know who you are.)



Friend family. The best kind.

3.)  Simplicity.  That is my key word for this year.  You know the Robin Williams blockbuster, "Patch Adams"?  Of course you don't.  Well, I don't remember that much either, but I do remember that he makes an elderly lady's dream come true by having her swim in a big pool of pasta.  Spaghetti, to be exact. It was her dream.  The scene ended with a shot from above, looking down on her in snow-angel-form, swimming in her spaghetti.  Friends, I want to swim in pasta.  After a crazy 2010 full of moving,  planning and having a bomb wedding, a honeymoon (wait- I'm leaving Seattle, but not going to Alaska?), being in another wedding soon after, my birthday, settling in, Thanksgiving, mom's birthday, the Holidays, Kenny's birthday, and finally a new year, I am ready to slow down. Back to the basics, friends. I adore having very few commitments in a week and being able to spend the evening playing card games with Kenny while eating homemade pizza and/or reading. I hear God better in those times, too, when there's less going on to drown Him out. I have bad enough hearing as it is.

2.) I must pay homage to this man I now call husband. I call him that quite a lot, actually, as it still feels foreign to my tongue and even though several months have passed, I daily find it surreal.  Marrying him has been the biggest blessing of my life, one that I thought I was totally prepared for but soon realized I wasn't in the slightest. Just because we had been together a long time and knew we enjoyed each other's company (and hoped to until death did us part), didn't mean we were all set for being his and him mine, day in and day out. I constantly invite and face the gravity of my role as partner to him, the one he wakes up to and the one he chose to spend his life with. I think that is important, recognizing the magnitude of that choice.  Yes, of course I have my moments of, "Well, buddy, aren't you just too lucky that this fine gal chose to marry you, huh?" but those are generally due to my completing chores I hate and other selfless acts he doesn't always recognize.  :)  Outside of those times, I am mostly humbled by the fact that life is quick and precious, and I will be the one to witness Kenny's the rest of the way through, as closely as one possibly can.

You know, there are days when I pause just to look at him, amazed at his generosity, kindness, and knowledge, and praise the God who knew the plan all along.

And #1 is.....) Well, God. To be honest, anything else would be plain crazy. He walked me through an insane 2010, will hold my hand through 2011, and will pretty much be #1 in any countdown I dare to create in future years.  This list would not exist if not for Him, who blessed me with numbers 2-10 and beyond. To leave Him out would be like thanking the cupcakes for being good, but not the baker. Well, you know what I mean. I was never good at analogies. I look forward to finally confessing I'm quite the faith louse, quite frankly, and challenging myself to a true relationship.

That's all, folks.  If you read through this whole post, I salute you, too.

Here's to 2011- may it be as grand as the last (year, that is, not 2010- that's impossible).